“Be like water making its way through cracks. Do not be assertive, but adjust to the object, and you shall find a way around or through it. If nothing within you stays rigid, outward things will disclose themselves. ” Bruce Lee
In your next interaction with life, consider the wise words of Bruce Lee in your approach. Stun whatever is showing up by staying out of resistance/rigidity and going, wholly, with the flow. Find a way, through the cracks, to be fluid in your stance.
Here’s how it might look:
Dealing with an ongoing challenge: Identify the thoughts that come up repeatedly in an effort to cope with or resolve the issue. Challenge yourself to create a “clean slate” in your mind and open to completely new perspectives. Adopt a beginner’s mind and ask for the new to show up.
When approaching a possible (repeated) conflict with another, practice responding with “Yes, AND…” instead of “but”. As soon as we say “But” or in other ways, defend ourselves, we shut down two way communication because the other is busy then, defending themselves. Our gifted Mentor in Training, Vanessa Elle, taught me this through her Improv work and it’s been illuminating. Example: “I wanted to talk to you but you didn’t answer the phone when I called”. “Yes, and I wish I was available when you called, because I wanted to talk to you as well.”
One of the most powerful is not to take on the insults of others. In a powerful, old story, an Eastern Master was riddled with insults in the town square by a young student who wanted to challenge him. The Master never responded to any of the insults hurled at him. Finally, the student tired, gave up and went away. An apprentice of the Master came up to him and asked how he could possibly not have fought back and the Master responded: “If someone comes to give you a gift and you do not receive it, to whom does the gift belong?”